Memo from the Department of Literary Security
To: All Potential Authors & Interested Parties
RE: Literary Alert Level Tango
The Secretary has been monitoring internet traffic on sites frequented by wordsmiths and detected elevated levels of activity among literary agents provocateurs from the Office of Letters & Light. It is our determination that this uptick in chatter related to writing nonstop for a month and the hoarding of items related to same indicates an imminent Significant Word-Count Event (SWCE).
All writers are advised to shelter in place or seek out the nearest library or coffee shop. During the last SWCE, over 3 billion words erupted from the nation’s writers and worldwide shortages of coffee, pastries, and adjectives were reported.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
During moments of extreme literary unrest, the department advises that it can take up to thirty (30) days for emergency supplies to reach affected areas. All writers are advised…
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